Uncertain

 Dear Hazel, 

I don't know what I want to feel or which would be worse.  I don't know if I want them to just be friends, because then I feel like I might be getting replaced by the new smart swing dancing frum girl.  But if they're more than friends, then Even though I'm not getting replaced, he'll have Even less time to spend with me.  I already feel so much like he doesn't actually want to spend time with me though.  I don't know if I can handle even less.  Maybe if we rarely see each other he'll appreciate the time we spend together more ... But when he was with someone before, it was so hard.  I feel like I only spent time with him when I spent time with them.  But I was friend with both of them.  G-d I feel like I'm just spinning in circles.  I need to not think about this.  I need to not rely on his reassurance and his opinion of me.