Nameless Entry III

This is what happens when I find myself. I was walking in the course of my thoughts, in the hilly mass of green and brown, overgrown with something strange and pungent, but oddly I still don't know what I'm writing. I feel so lost still. Why are you there at all! Why do I love you when I can't love you? I don't know what I'm writing. This is clearly not poetry or a story. I'm incapable of writing again. I'll try writing again.

What is this darkness that I've found,
alas it's come out to the end.
I've lost myself and soul and all
and now I'm waiting for the call.
I'm waiting for that bit of you
that tells me something worthy too,
where all the world stops at a halt
and prays to deities for their faults
and for that purpose left to breathe
of worship to the life's extreme.
Of life's true goal and balanced frame
that shows my love of lost ones gained
and now displaying on the place
of hallowed memories, built in case.
I watch as death consumes the whole
and slowly fills out it's last toll.
I watch and wait, my breath now stilled
while your sure beauty fills out bills.
And now I'm ready to attack
for love is not enough to track
and hurry back to solid ground,
to sanctuary and the sound
beneath the saving second step.
It's not enough to risk your stress,,
to break this curse or stop your shouts.
It'll only last for while it's out.

And now the hidden source reveals
just why that doll remained still sealed,
and why the rest all bought and sold
and why the one to share now holds
in her own wake the terror too
of losing lover, friend, and you.
The doll who is my one and true
forgive me not, for that is you.
She's lost forever in this place
because I've stolen all her grace
and swallowed up the bells and chimes
and decomposed the hollowed rhymes.
This doll that sat beneath my shelf,
beside my own in toy store's breath,
will now lie cold in graveyard's chill
without my passion or my nil.
For I can't handle having you
beside my own, but better too.
I can't take my love of you
who's on a higher step, and flew!
I can't handle what you are
and what you can be lest you star.
I can't handle solemn seas
and frozen stories stuck on me.