When the Shadow's all gone...

What's going on?
I feel I can't write.
I feel I can't feel
nor condense
nor appear.
No I can't
I can't move.
Cut these bonds,
Break the crude
Open blade to the wound
and the phrase.
I... I am not.
I can not.
Yet you are.
And why?
Can't you answer me?
Why are you there?
Why are you tearing me,
tortured, repaired?
Why pull the broken bones,
limbs, tissue, heart?
Can't you just help me
become what I'm not?
Can't you return?
Can't you appear?
Can't you stop breaking out
tests of my fears?
I can't take it.
I can't go on.
Please bring me back
for the shadow's all gone.