everlasting search for a muse

I sit in this cold and lonely place, surrounded by beings, yet in complete solitary, with but one question crossing my mind. Such a frightening place this is to be.
Full of fears for what the future holds, where the present exists, where the past has led me. I fear what I have done to myself in this empty existence, but more what passionate behaviors I might exibit towards someone else if I left. Beyond all this though, I fear to live.
Life seems alright to most people, many even beg to keep it. However, those people have a legitimate reason for feeling this way. It has ended for me.
The inspiration that once instilled my heart has left long ago, and has been replaced by inner solitude, kept within this possibly imbalanced head with ever such secrecy.
So now, the single question remains, crossing through this unfortunate mentality that dwells in such isolation; crossing through a mind left alone among a thousand friends and a million strangers. A single question ever looking for the muse that deserted this odd head of mine long before its time had truly come.