Apologies

Now I look back
and see the past,
all things I've done
and said
and won.
Such horrid tales
of lives undone,
is it too late?
To go back,
to take track,
To love,
and hug,
and feel
and trust?
Is it too late
to see your soul?
Is it too late
to pay the tolls?
I know the selfish life
I've lead
is just now
running back to place.
But after all the things I've done
can I go back
and change the sun?
Can I still be
the one you trust?
Can I still feed
the life you lust?
Break through the tears,
the cold,
the fear.
I know I've lost,
and found-
it's real!
But time
is such a sad
appeal.